Dreaming

The crackle of fire soothed my mind, as did the sounds of the cold nights breeze whispering. In the midst of being so close to sleep, I could hear the movement of people in the distance. Comforting as it was, yet I was unsure if it was my Master or not. He had not returned to his wagon, so I stretched out by the cooking fire, wrapped in a fur and took a little time to rest. I wanted to wait for him to return, so perhaps we could talk more. Or something.

Something stirred me and I opened my eyes and sat up some, to see what it was that had woke me up. To my surprise, I was looking at a pair of slippers. Looking up more, I noticed Therise. And Spider, and Naz. Sekret was there, too. I asked Therise how I got there, and she laughed and asked me if I was feeling well. That maybe I had spent too much time with Spider in his den, testing the paga shots. I felt myself stiffen. Why was I there? Naz was talking to Sek, and Spider was looking at me as he always did- like a piece of meat that he was ready to devour. He always had this thing for my mouth. She told me I needed a bath, and shoo'd me off to go bathe. Told me to get those circles under my eyes taken care of and for Kings sake, eat something. And bring her truffles! I did as she commanded, bringing her the truffles. Had it all been a dream? As I sank into the tub of hot water, with all its added oils, all I could think of was his face. Was he just a figment of my dreams? I could feel the tremble move over my body, and the way my flesh instantly responded when I thought of his hand on me. It just didn't seem real that I could make up such a thing in my mind, much less play it out in my dreams!

I dressed as she liked me to dress, to catch the eyes of the men. It kept the attention off her so she could do what she needed to do. I knelt at her feet and started telling her the whole story. The raid, the ride, even the name he had called me. She laughed at me, and said if I was worthless, a coinbox could remedy that quickly enough. I had always been able to talk to her, and she always took interest in the things I said. But this time, she looked at me as though I had lost my mind. Finally I blurted out, begging her to take me back. "Back where, girl? You haven't been anywhere". I hadn't? So it really was all a dream? I couldn't help it. The tears welled up before I could stop them. This couldn't be happening. I should have been happy, to be back in Port Kar, and back around the people I knew so well. With a motion of hand, she spoke. "For Kings sake, Sage. Take this girl and get her head back on straight. Really, Si.. a Tuchuk? You'd not survive a hand with a man like that" Motioning toward the doors of the alcoves while she spoke. I wanted to protest. I wanted to cry.

I did as I was bid, and followed the heeling gesture of Sage toward the alcove. He made himself comfortable on the brace of furs and told me to turn, and remove my silks slowly so that he could watch. I had to squeeze my eyes shut to keep the tears from falling, since after all, if it was a dream, how could I cry as my body and heart ached to do? "Don't worry girl. Nothing nor no one will take you from Port Kar. You are safe here. Now hurry up, I have business to attend once I am finished with you."

When I turned around, after the silk had slid down my leg, I looked upon Sage again. Only this time, it was not Sage. It was that dark eyed man standing where Sage had been sitting. My heart leapt to my throat. I was speechless. I felt myself start shaking uncontrollably, tears that had been held back suddenly started to stream down my cheeks. "I hoped you'd come, Master." I finally was able to whisper, unsure if he even could hear me. No emotion was written on his face. Nothing I could decipher. If only I could tell him all of these things that fill my heart and soul when I see him! Wait.. was I dreaming again? A dream within a dream? "Please be real. Please, I beg of you.. please be real, Master." I was choking up, trying to hold back the sobbing quivers from my voice. Without a word, he motioned to his boots. It was only a few short steps from him, but I ran and fell upon my knees. I couldn't form words to express how I felt being at his feet. I wasn't sure he would want to hear them if I could have.
Suddenly the sounds of voices- Therise, Sekret, Naz, Spider, all of them.. sounded distant. My head never raised from his feet, too afraid to look around and see if I was still truly in the den of thieves.

The chill suddenly became biting, so I opened my eyes again and found myself stretched out beside the cooking fire, which had nearly dwindled down to nothing. I was there! It had been a dream! My heart suddenly soared and I was overcome with emotion. I couldn't stop crying. I nearly kissed the ground in realizing that the whole thing had been just a dream. I thought I missed the aspects of such things that being in the city provided. I was wrong. What I missed, what I needed, what I craved was right here. To serve this man who owns me. It feels as though this is what I was born to do. Not anyone else, but him. Am I foolish? Am I foolish to want to open that part of me that I haven't allowed any to touch? A man can own my flesh, but he cannot force my heart. Do I dare? Would he even want it if I did?

I have never felt such a joy in my life to realize that I am indeed still here. I've a fire to tend to, food to prepare and must figure out a way to make myself worthy to him.